damn it, i really did not want to end up back here, hating my body. i though i was past this? but in reality, i see that nothing’s really changed. my habits are still the same, so i’ve allowed myself to become this. the reason why i feel this bad is because of me. if i didn’t have a job, i wouldn’t even want to get out of bed in the morning. i don’t know what to do here anymore. i want my life to be interesting, but instead i have a routine that’s gotten more than old and sometimes…because i see no way out, i don’t want to do it anymore.